I am paraphrasing Mr. Karl Marx, but most times I leave my house these days, the more I realize that Smartphones have doomed humanity.

The domestic economy nearly collapsed, and still might. The global economy nearly collapsed, and still might. The Federal government is shut down, directly because publicly elected servants refused to obey the direct intent of the designed, agreed upon, ratified law. The supporters of these politicians who disobey the laws that have been set in place complain that the government is too big and reaches too far into private life. Then they turn around and complain that the current administration has gone too far when they are closing national parks, national waters, and the World War II memorial. Guess what kind of government operates all of those things? A “big” one with power. They have now had their wish granted and the government has scaled back its stewardship of the people and the land, and guess what? They don’t like this either. It’s wrong to close a park. How are they unable to see that this is what small government entails, which is a lack of administering places and laws and such for the public good?

Politics is now one big, messy catfight, having little to do with concrete issues or open debate and far more to do with petty maneuvering to set one’s party as diametrically opposite the other, in both literal and figurative manners.

The world really is on the brink of an implosion, including the environment. We might pollute the planet and kill ourselves with fossil fuel burning emissions, fracking, and all sorts of other unsustainable practices. And guess what? People deny we are changing the planet. They say more snow and rain signal not more water trapped in the atmosphere by pollution, but a sign that we aren’t in danger of more droughts, more fire. The science is hard and fast, the proof obvious.

And as all of this happens, everyone, from teenagers to adults, politicians sending photos of their weiners to woman to professors tweeting during a lecture, is too busy and distracted to give a fuck.

As long as they can upgrade their phone next month and receive an unlimited texting plan, so fuck what? The planet is doomed. Humanity is doomed. We’re all fucked.

Wait, what did you say? I was busy watching that new viral video, you know, the one where the cat uses a human toilet…